Muted: Get into a Fight Every Morning to Become a Better Leader
March 20, 2025
“After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down.”
This quote comes from one of my favorite books and movies, Fight Club. Fight Club was the first novel by Chuck Palahniuk. If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it as there are so many parallels and lessons that apply to life, to make us stronger mentally, ready to become the best versions of ourselves to serve others. I’ve been wanting to do a study comparing the lessons explored in Fight Club to those with education, and this blog may be the first in a series. Who knows, the first rule is, “We don’t talk about Fight Club.”
The opening quote of this blog is spoken by the narrator, in the movie played by Edward Norton, and he is stating that after being in a fight, after giving your all, your blood, sweat, and tears, all of the little things in life that used to bring about anger, annoyance, frustration, and sadness, well, they don’t seem to bring those feelings onto you anymore. After being in a fight, win or lose, you’ve proven to yourself how strong you are, mentally and physically. You’ve proven to yourself that you can endure hard, painful, and difficult times, and still stand back up, and move forward. Fighting, doing something hard, testing yourself and the limits you thought you had on yourself, were all just shattered by you.
Now I’m not recommending we all go out, join an underground fight club, channel our inner Tyler Durden, and walk around bandaged, bloodied, and bruised. But the opening quote, it is one that I have adopted into my life and strive to practice everyday. And those days that I do live by it, are some of the best days I experience when everything else gets muted.
Most weekday mornings my alarm goes off at 4:45 A.M. For no matter how many years I’ve been setting it for that time, I never am excited to just jump out of bed and begin wrestling the day. In all honesty, every time I contemplate not hitting “Snooze,” but resetting it and staying in my warm, cozy, comfortable bed. I’m happy to admit that there are more days than not where I DO get up at that 4:45 AM alarm. I know that if I don’t, I won’t get in my fight for the day, and then everything that comes my way as an elementary school principal will have the volume at full blast.
Once I’m up I begin prepping for my fight. I drink some electrolytes and down a cup of coffee. I’m not the type of fighter to enter the ring without a little caffeine boost. After those are consumed I get into my daily fight. I know that it will be tough, that one cup of coffee may not have been enough, but it will have to do, as the first round bell is about to ring.
Fighting is all about movement, and that’s exactly what I do. Running anywhere from 4 miles or more. Lifting weights. Going for a ride on the Peloton. It sometimes depends on the weather (I do live in Chicagoland) or if I’m training for a race, but these mornings, my fight is to get in at least 30 minutes of movement. Almost every morning, I’m proud to say my fight goes into extra rounds.
I’ve noticed through informal tracking with journaling that the days I got into that fight before most of the world was up, my writing and reflection was much more positive. When my amazing admin assistants call me on the radio that an upset parent is waiting, or a classroom needs an administrator for assistance, or any of the other unplanned situations a principal experiences on a day to day basis, I’m not phased by them. I’m actually excited and more eager to take on that test as I have already taken on my toughest challenge for the day, first thing. That fight that I put myself into during those early hours, nothing will be harder than that. And guess what, I’m still standing. I’m still breathing. I’m still here.
Turning the volume down and everything in life doesn’t mean we ignore it or don’t put stock into its importance. That upset parent, they need to be heard and reassured we are a team and doing what is best for their child. That student that is disrupting the learning for others needs to be removed and talked with to find the reason behind their behaviors and taught appropriate coping techniques. But by putting ourselves through hard things, getting into a fight, on purpose, of our own accord, each day, it makes those day to day trials, where we serve others, easier to handle.
I know the first and second rule is we don’t talk about it, but it truly comes down to taking care of ourselves first to be the best for those we serve.
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