Muted: Get into a Fight Every Morning to Become a Better Leader

Muted: Get into a Fight Every Morning to Become a Better Leader

March 20, 2025

“After fighting, everything else in your life got the volume turned down.” 

This quote comes from one of my favorite books and movies, Fight Club. Fight Club was the first novel by Chuck Palahniuk. If you’ve never read it, I highly recommend it as there are so many parallels and lessons that apply to life, to make us stronger mentally, ready to become the best versions of ourselves to serve others. I’ve been wanting to do a study comparing the lessons explored in Fight Club to those with education, and this blog may be the first in a series. Who knows, the first rule is, “We don’t talk about Fight Club.” 

The opening quote of this blog is spoken by the narrator, in the movie played by Edward Norton, and he is stating that after being in a fight, after giving your all, your blood, sweat, and tears, all of the little things in life that used to bring about anger, annoyance, frustration, and sadness, well, they don’t seem to bring those feelings onto you anymore. After being in a fight, win or lose, you’ve proven to yourself how strong you are, mentally and physically. You’ve proven to yourself that you can endure hard, painful, and difficult times, and still stand back up, and move forward. Fighting, doing something hard, testing yourself and the limits you thought you had on yourself, were all just shattered by you. 

Now I’m not recommending we all go out, join an underground fight club, channel our inner Tyler Durden, and walk around bandaged, bloodied, and bruised. But the opening quote, it is one that I have adopted into my life and strive to practice everyday. And those days that I do live by it, are some of the best days I experience when everything else gets muted.

Most weekday mornings my alarm goes off at 4:45 A.M. For no matter how many years I’ve been setting it for that time, I never am excited to just jump out of bed and begin wrestling the day. In all honesty, every time I contemplate not hitting “Snooze,” but resetting it and staying in my warm, cozy, comfortable bed. I’m happy to admit that there are more days than not where I DO get up at that 4:45 AM alarm. I know that if I don’t, I won’t get in my fight for the day, and then everything that comes my way as an elementary school principal will have the volume at full blast. 

Once I’m up I begin prepping for my fight. I drink some electrolytes and down a cup of coffee. I’m not the type of fighter to enter the ring without a little caffeine boost. After those are consumed I get into my daily fight. I know that it will be tough, that one cup of coffee may not have been enough, but it will have to do, as the first round bell is about to ring. 

Fighting is all about movement, and that’s exactly what I do. Running anywhere from 4 miles or more. Lifting weights. Going for a ride on the Peloton. It sometimes depends on the weather (I do live in Chicagoland) or if I’m training for a race, but these mornings, my fight is to get in at least 30 minutes of movement. Almost every morning, I’m proud to say my fight goes into extra rounds.

I’ve noticed through informal tracking with journaling that the days I got into that fight before most of the world was up, my writing and reflection was much more positive. When my amazing admin assistants call me on the radio that an upset parent is waiting, or a classroom needs an administrator for assistance, or any of the other unplanned situations a principal experiences on a day to day basis, I’m not phased by them. I’m actually excited and more eager to take on that test as I have already taken on my toughest challenge for the day, first thing. That fight that I put myself into during those early hours, nothing will be harder than that. And guess what, I’m still standing. I’m still breathing. I’m still here.

Turning the volume down and everything in life doesn’t mean we ignore it or don’t put stock into its importance. That upset parent, they need to be heard and reassured we are a team and doing what is best for their child. That student that is disrupting the learning for others needs to be removed and talked with to find the reason behind their behaviors and taught appropriate coping techniques. But by putting ourselves through hard things, getting into a fight, on purpose, of our own accord, each day, it makes those day to day trials, where we serve others, easier to handle. 

I know the first and second rule is we don’t talk about it, but it truly comes down to taking care of ourselves first to be the best for those we serve. 

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Pick up my book, The Educulture Cookbook: Recipes & Dishes to Positively Transform Classroom & School Culture with EduMatch Publishing.

Birdbox: Beginning the School Year Blindfolded - February 26, 2025

 

“Uuummm…why do we need a blindfold for the back to school faculty meeting?”

I could see the fear and terror in her eyes as she asked. A sinister feeling began bubbling up throughout my body, fermenting in my gut. My legs became shaky with excitement. I knew that I had her, the anticipation, the trepidation, was eating at her, and as much as she was looking forward to the start of our 24/25 school year, she was dreading those first hours together. 

As a sly half smile began to rise towards my right ear, I finally responded as I saw beads of sweat begin to form on her suntanned brow. 

“Because. Are you scared?” 

After she let out a deep sigh, threw her hands up to the sky and then back towards the ground, she said with a hesitant, nervous laugh, “No, I just don’t know why we would need a blindfold for a faculty meeting!” 

*

Being an elementary school principal for the past thirteen years, I’ve always viewed faculty meetings as an opportunity to engage our staff with lessons that were out of the box, collaborative, and FUN! I know I can’t stand it, when I literally can’t stand because I’m bolted to a seat, in a meeting that lasts hours, so why would I ever expect that from the amazing educators I get to serve daily? While all of the activities I provide at our monthly faculty meetings are geared towards our staff and whatever topic we are diving into that day; data analysis, discussing hot topics in education, or problem solving, my goal is to use an activity that will engage them, making them forget they are spending a contractual hour or two after school, and find a way to make the activity their own and bring it back to their students. 

A successful faculty meeting begins days, sometimes weeks before it actually happens. Like any harvest, the seeds need to be planted and time needs to pass. Two weeks before our back to school faculty meeting was to take place, I sent out our “Welcome Back” email to staff. In it, I mentioned that for our faculty meeting portion of Institute Day One, all staff needed to bring a blindfold, and if someone didn’t bring one, I would provide one. That’s it, nothing more and nothing less to explain. One responsibility for Opening Day, bring your own blindfold. 

*

Opening Day for the 24/25 School Year has finally arrived! The day began with our entire district meeting in the middle school gym for an opening address from our superintendent, district admin, and keynote speaker. Throughout the morning, before everything kicked off and everyone was mingling, many staff came up to me and referenced the need for a blindfold. Each time, that sly half-smile would begin to raise towards my right ear. Each time it was brought up, I always responded the same. I would look towards the ground, then slowly lift my head up, stopping when our eyes met and locked. “You’ll see.” 

After a morning together at our district’s middle school, everyone grabbed a box lunch provided from our gracious board of education, and had about an hour to eat and get back to our campus. Once I got back to our building, I sprinted to my office and scarfed down my sandwich and chips like a stray dog who is enjoying their first meal in their newly adopted forever home. As I walked to our LRC (Learning Resource Center) I had a little skip in my step and a smile that reached from ear to ear. I love our faculty meetings. I love the anticipation leading up to them, the fun, friendly tension as everyone tries to come up with their own solution as to what we are going to be doing. 

As staff began to file into the room they were greeted by smiles and a mix of the top ‘90’s alternative hits playing. I noticed that some staff had scarves and headbands, while others had sleeping masks, and yet some had no hint of bringing a blindfold. After running through the welcome back spiel, introduction of new staff, my personal goals for the school year, I stopped, looked over the playing field for my hyped up activity, and asked, “Does everyone have a blindfold?”

Many reluctantly said they did, in which I replied with a puzzled look on my face as my eyebrows resembled Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s famous look from the squared circle, “Really, cuz I don’t see everyone having one.” 

At that point, almost everyone that did not have their blindfold in plain sight reached into the deep abyss of their purse, pocket, or portfolio and produced a blindfold. Only two staff admitted they did not have one. That sinister, half smile began rising towards my right ear, and I showed them what I would provide for a blindfold, a white, cotton mask provided by the government when students and staff returned back from the Pandemic. If you’re wondering what it looked like, imagine a female sanitary napkin that can wrap around your ears to be held to your face. One staff member quickly lept from their seat and flew out of the LRC, only to return within seconds with what could be used as a blindfold. 

“Alright, I need everyone to get into the group based on the number of their playing cards. I’ve mixed two decks together so we will have some groups of more than four. Find a table or area your group can get around to work collaboratively. And bring nothing but your blindfold with.” After stating the instructions like the host of a reality game show, I gave staff about 72 seconds to get to their area of their choosing. Once I saw groups claim their space, I walked over and placed a string of yarn on their playing area. Once everyone had their turf, I continued with the instructions. 

“Who has seen the movie Birdbox with Sandra Bullock on Netflix? Can someone who has seen it please give an elevator trailer for those who haven’t?” After being provided the synopsis of Birdbox from one of our social workers, the spotlight was back on me. 

“So what we’re going to do is everyone is going to put their blindfolds on and as a team, I need each group to create a perfect square, a box, while blindfolded. Once you think you have it, get my attention and I will come by to get a picture and assess your progress. Everyone got it? Blindfolds on!  Now go!”

Each group quickly got to work. Some dove right into beginning to create their box, while others talked about their approach and strategy. As I scaffolded the room, checking on everyone’s progress, not one person seemed to be cheating by not using their blindfold correctly. 

The ‘90’s alternative hits were silenced and the air now permeated with laughter. Teamwork was abundant as every group wanted to create the perfect box. Many of the groups called out my name to signify they were complete while others just yelled with laughter. One group all through their hands up into the sky, only to have their box fall apart into a circular-rectangular-squiggly shape. “You don’t have a box anymore once you let go! What were you thinking?” I got out through my own laughter, which only was fuel to enhance theirs louder and heartier. 

*

The Birdbox activity served the purpose of creating a fun, engaging, and friendly competitive atmosphere while building teamwork with staff that may not normally work with one another. We also discussed that while every group essentially completed the Birdbox challenge, some had more perfect squares than others, some took longer to reach their end goal, every group took a different approach, and each individual had a crucial role in Birdbox where each team needed to rely on and trust their members. 

When you take the blindfold off it sounds pretty similar to what ingredients lead to a successful classroom. 

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Pick up my book, The Educulture Cookbook: Recipes & Dishes to Positively Transform Classroom & School Culture with EduMatch Publishing.